"Let's just pretend she's three.."

So last week I posted about Grace being the "mean girl" at school. When I talked to her about being mean to her friends she would say things like " I can't like her.." or "She cries.." or " He takes my toy." When you ask her what she did she says " I push (name of small child)" or "I bite ____". This situation was really pushing me to my stress limits for MULTIPLE reasons.

Reason #1: my child is MUCH too cute to be mean :).

Reason # 2: Biting is an EARLY toddler issue that starts because of teething or language frustration... both of which do not pertain to my child. (she has all of her teeth and says things like "You know better than that..")

Reason #3: I can not stand the thought of my child not being "liked" by her teachers or causing frustration among other kids.

Soooo I went a little "mommy psycho" and set up a meeting with the director and her teachers. Her teacher wanted me to pretty much "get over it" that she was 2 years old and kids act out and Grace was only acting out when she was frustrated with another child not responding to her previous words of warning. If you know me, which most of you do, I am not one to sit back and be "cool" with someone else's advice when it completely goes against what I want. I will not ever be "ok" with Grace being mean. So we started brainstorming. They hooked a teether to her and told her to use it to bite instead of her friends.... I hate this technique, it's confusing.. it sends the message don't bite your friends, but hey.. bite this thing. so we scratched that. THEN we started punishing. Talking about what we did and not doing some of her favorite daily things.. getting a popsicle, watching tangled, riding her scooter... you get the picture. EPIC FAIL. THEN we started rewarding good behavior and building her up for a prize (bribe) .... this worked for 2 days. Day one: "GRACE!! Today.. if you are sweet to all of your friends we will go get a SLUSHY!!!" success. She talked all day at school about a slushy, told all of her teachers and made a CHOICE not to be mean, "smart little stinker" The next day, we used chocolate as the bribe, when we picked her up she had a good day but asked for a popsicle instead so we went with that reward. Day three was paint our fingernails. She did good until 4:45pm then attempted to bite, she was caught without any injuries.

So here is the consensus.. Grace is too verbal to be in the 2 year old room. She is getting frustrated with kids not wanting to "play" with her. She wants to pretend, and play house, and sing songs, and dance, read books, and color. She does not enjoy fighting over a toy, she doesn't put toys in her mouth, and she wants to use objects for their specific purpose. SO after the director observed Grace in her classroom for a while she also did a little pre-school readiness test with Grace. Grace was able to verbally describe 3 pictures one happy, one sad, and was able to tell the director what was happening in another. She had book orientation, she knew which way to turn the pages and could find the front and back. This last meeting with director was really optimistic. She told me " Lets just pretend she's three, she may be two but she sure doesn't act like it." They moved her to to three year old room and she LOVES it. She is talking about all of her friends, she told me that they learned the "pokey turn around" dance, and today she said " I don't bite my friends". Relief. I am so hopeful that this is going to work! She is adjusting well and seems to really be worn out when we get home from all of the activity. SO glad she is happy!